You might well be wondering why this story is included in this blog site as it’s not exactly based around any experience in the gym or dojo. But, it`s a case of self defense as a young kid.
However, I didn’t know this at the time, but this was actually the start to my kickboxing career, self defense as a young kid you might say, and apart from that, it’s funny and short! That’s three reasons it’s included, and the perfect story to start my kickboxing career off with, read on…
My first ever real kick!
One of my earliest school memories-apart from the tedious day to day life of everyday boring education, that was strictly governed by teachers who thrived on intimidation and bullying tactics, most of whom I`m sure probably wouldn’t even qualify for the position nowadays-was going to some kind of crappy circus pantomime show. I was around 7 or 8 years old at the time.
So, all the school kids are packed onto several buses and it was chaos as everyone is excited about being away from school for one day. The teachers have their work cut out today controlling this lot! We`re off for the day and heading over to a neighboring city to see some kind of circus show or whatever it was, no one really knows, and no one really cares! It’s a day off from school that’s all we know, and that’s good enough for us.
When we get there the show starts soon after, nothing too special really, a variety of singing (out of tune) and acting (don’t give up your day jobs, please)! Also, jugglers (who can’t catch), magicians (who are anything but magic), and clowns (who look pure evil)! Etc. etc. basically crappy second-rate performers who are very amateurish and haven’t a chance at ever becoming anything close to professional, amazing how I can judge someone’s potential at my early age don’t you think? As if I know anything! But I know it’s not very impressive, but hey! It’s better than being at school that’s for sure!
As the show is in full swing now, to my horror, not to mention worry, a clown seems to be looking at me like he’s picking me out for something, and as I’m sat on the front row I’m expecting him to involve me in this ridiculous show at some stage. Please God! Don’t let him pick me for this show, I’m thinking to myself. This is the first time I realize I have a dislike for clowns and very soon a love for kickboxing. Unknown to me at this time, my kickboxing career is about to be launched in a matter of seconds!
The clown is now walking around carrying two buckets of water constantly looking at me, he puts both buckets down and picks one of them back up and is now heading directly for me and laughing like crazy as he launches the entire contents of the bucket all over me!
Expecting to get soaked in water I’m sat there all curled up on my seat like a little wimp, resembling some kind of frightened little mouse as little pieces of paper float all around me! Unknown to me the clown had switched the bucket of water for another one filled with harmless paper similar to confetti that you find at weddings, and now the spotlight is on me and I’m the laughing stock of the whole theater, not to mention the whole school! This idiot clown has made me look stupid and it’s time for payback!
Bruce Lee was a big influence at the time
Now, around this time Bruce Lee movies were all the rage, and all the kids thought they were Kung-Fu experts (me included). So, without thinking I quickly jumped out of my seat and launched a beautiful front kick straight into his clown groin! Bull’s-eye! He goes down like he’s been shot. For a few seconds there’s total silence-no one can believe what I just did, least of all me-quickly to be replaced by even more hysterical laughter from the crowd than before! I’m now the star of the show and looking down on my defeated crippled clown enemy shouting “Let’s hear you laugh now mister clown, not so funny is it!” no response from the clown though as he rolled around the stage clutching his privates. He was the first to experience my self-defense as a young kid.
As he was out for the count, I was stood over him like a referee in a boxing match shouting out 1-2-3 and so on, the loudest cheer was when I counted to 8 and I had won, with my arms held high I felt like Rocky! I was thinking of kicking him again when I felt a hand suddenly grip my ear, which was soon twisted to the point of feeling like it was being ripped off my head (yes, they could do this back then and get away with it, imagine that happening nowadays? I don’t think so). Anyway, I was soon ejected from the theater by a less than impressed teacher and given a standing ovation by the whole theater! Well, all the kids anyway! Then escorted back on the bus and made to write out 500 lines, can’t remember exactly what now, but some crap such as `I must not assault innocent people in the future` I also added “That doesn’t include stupid guilty clowns.” which got me in even more trouble.
I was a school hero, for a few days!
After the show the teachers wanted me to personally apologize to the idiot clown, but he backed out of it claiming he was too shaken and refused to see me ever again. Oh well, another victory to me! For a few days afterwards, back at school I was the main talking point, and some kind of hero with the kids which didn’t last too long, as it soon became old news.
The clown deserved it for making me look stupid! Ever since I’ve disliked clowns and loved kickboxing, an interesting and very early start to my kickboxing career to say the least! Self defense as a young kid.